Beers Eye Drunk

I like to shop at Central Market sometimes. They have good soup and mostly hippies shop there, but it's expensive, so only executive hippies shop there; The kind that listen to jam bands nostalgically in their studio lofts, smoking pot in constant terror of a random office drug test.

The checkout clerk was a forgettable hippy, like most people in Austin, with a zit-ravaged mug caged in dirtlocks which look like the wad on miscellaneous gunk I sometimes find from behind the stove. It took me a full week later for me to actually hear what he said to me, since for me, conversation with strangers is like a sudden-death game of ping-pong on a very short table. I concentrate on fast reactions so I can end it as quickly as possible.

He had stated that Samuel Smith's is the best Organic Ale, he's ever had. And I probably recommended that he shower or try St. Peter's Organic Ale. He asked if they had it at Central Market, and I said I believe so, but later I found that they stopped carrying it. I felt a little bad about that, since I usually like to tell the truth. When I lie, I usually go all out and include Big Foot or UFOs, and it was a shame to have missed the opportunity. Still, I felt better when I realized that I had been somewhat duped by Sir Stinks-a-lot.

Samuel Smith's is an Organic Lager... not an Organic Ale. For you non-beer drinkers, that's like someone saying to you, I think Red Fire truck is the best Red Shoe I've ever worn.

Well, thanks hippy, because I'd have never tried this beer at all if it weren't for your suggestion... And I take suggestions from hippies for the same reason you might listen to a troll under a bridge. You know it's going to turn out bad, but you can't help yourself. It's enchanting, in a hairy sort of way.

Samuel Smith's, however, is the exact opposite of troll-ish, best described as pleasantly clean and crisp. Light in flavor, middle-weight in texture, and a little heavy in the glass, the organic lager maintains a brightness and obvious quality through a very pure flavor, a perfect combination of ingredients, with no overwhelming bitterness or alcohol.

Samuel Smith's is a tad bulkier than a typical lager, due to its full-bodied malt and hop mix, and could potentially disappoint Organic Ale lovers, seeking earthy aromas and fruit finishes, and lager drinkers, expecting something a little more livelily on the tongue. This beer doesn't take any serious chances, doesn't pander to any expectations, instead concentrating on a very pure and smooth blend. In fact, it's complete lack of discernable flavor notes, undertones, and scents, provide an incident free drinking experience. This can be quite refreshing with the right food combination.

. For those without a strong passion for lagers, specifically, I would imagine this beer going over fairly well. But it's like going to the store, asking for rock n' roll and someone giving you Kansas, rather than a Led Zepplin album. Something about that just doesn't sit right with me, which is why I'm not going to give a strong recommendation to this beer. All and all, there's not a whole lot write home about when it comes to this lager. Such a pure and smooth mix, it's like a muted easily digested, Top 40 hit, version of a lager beer. To keep with musical metaphors, Samuel Smiths is able to sing in key of beer, but never quite produce a symphony.

Fyi. If you're on a first date, it is not such a good time to demonstrate your ability to sing in the key of beer. It is considered rude in public places.


Fyi. Bigfoot says this is the best beer blog on the web.