Beers Eye Drunk

I am so high right now. My girlfriend told me not to spray my shirts with Spray-and-Wash while I'm still wearing them. Dude! This stuff smells great! Like puppies fresh from the dryer, without the whimpering! It's put me in a great mood, which makes me fully capable of telling you that Old Growler is awesome!

It's great, lively and consumes your palate with a veritable Aurora Borealis of flavor. If you like chocolate stouts, then you'd probably like this. Though I must say, it's smoother than those sometimes murky, smoky, and gritty-ass stouts. If you like a dark lager, then you'd like this too. It has a real depth of flavor. If you like English-style pale ales, then you'd appreciate the smoothness and fruity overtones. And if you like Corona, you should probably die.

I think I taste pear… Why is that? Mysterilicious!

Old Growler is high-impact and delicious, and despite the boasting of some Trappist beers being "alive" in the bottle (which I think is freakin' creepy, in a Day of the Dead sort of way), this beer actually tastes alive, which is something I find uncommon in beers with complex flavors and real girth in your mouth. Yes, I like real girth in my mouth... from my beer. From my beer! Fuck you guys!

Anyhow, I give Old Growler my highest recommendation. Definitely the best beer I've tried in months. It's actually changed my life. I'm spending my off-hours pining for Growler, rather than twitching sporadically fighting the urge to make myself a pot of Maxwell House. I might just kick caffeine with the help of beer after all. Let's face it, I'm a beer drunk at heart, and this coffee drunkenness is only a symptom of my poor mental outlook*. And this Spray-and-Wash has totally corrected that! I may even love kittens now! Wait, nope, still hate 'em. I checked. I still find their pain amusing and never-you-mind how I checked.

Get some Old Growler. I see fairies! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

*Poor Mental Outlook 2005 is a registered trademark of the Microsoft Corporation, the makers of System Administrator - Your Mailbox is Full of Suffering and MS PowerPoint At the Boring Charts on the Wall While Scott Falls Asleep.